Disney World & Epcot
Visiting Walt Disney World (Orlando) was one of the things on my bucket list - but it wasn't until after working those Illuminati child abduction cases my colleagues and I discovered one of the largest child trafficking rings running out of Disney. Had I known that, Disney World wouldn't have gotten one red cent of my money.
I wasn't even going to write about my WDW trip but people asked me to as they wanted to take their kids there. So I'll only say this...if you're taking your kids to WDW, keep your eyes on them at all times and keep them close to you. Disney hires pedophiles and that's an established fact.
WDW Tickets
Ordering your WDW tickets can be a rather complex affair due to all the different configurations of ticketing.
A base ticket for a 1 day visit to the park currently runs $119 for a guest 10+ years of age.
Most days of the year are priced at $134 or higher; only 39 days are priced lower than this. Tickets are slightly discounted (typically $5 cheaper) for children ages 3-9.
But there are add on's you can add to your base ticket for an additional price, such as the Hopper Pass and the Hopper Plus Pass.
The Hopper Option allows Guests to visit more than one theme park per day. The Hopper Plus Option allows Guests to visit more than one theme park per day. Plus, enjoy a certain number of visits to a water park or other Walt Disney World sports-related fun.
Personally, I wouldn't purchase either option. If you plan your WDW visit right, there's plenty to see and do in one park without having to hop to another on the same day.
As for the waterparks under the Hopper Plus option, we'd planned to visit a waterpark but ran out of time to do so. So you're better off buying your waterpark tickets right at the waterparks themselves - provided the weather cooperates.
There's a separate ticket option for Florida residents and an annual ticket option.
What used to be called "Fastpass" and was free are now called Lightning Lane passes and aren't free. With the new Lightning Lane passes, skip the standby line and join a shorter line for select attractions and experiences instead.
It's best you just visit WDW Theme Park Tickets and carefully read through all of the different ticketing options before you purchase your tickets.
Accommodations
While it's tempting to want to stay at one of the in-park WDW resorts, you'll pay top dollar to do so, even at their Value resorts, where you’ll pay between $1,100 and $2,450 per week on average to get a regular room at a Disney Value Resort. That’s between $157-$350 per night. But remember that all nights aren’t priced the same—I divided by 7 to get the nightly average, but Friday and Saturday nights generally cost more.
Note I said "Value" resort, not one of their more deluxe resorts that go for well over $350 per night, all the way up into the $800+ per night range for a simple 2 bed room.
Ask yourself how much time you're actually going to spend in that $350 to $800+ per room night? My sister and I only slept in our hotel room. The rest of the time we were in the parks or elsewhere. Do yourself a favor, save your money for doing FUN stuff and book your accommodations outside of the WDW parks.
My sister and I stayed at Lake Buena Vista Resort, about a 5 minute drive from WDW.
We paid around $200 per night for a beautiful room, our reservations included free breakfast, a free WDW shuttle to the parks picked us up right on the property. Not to mention their Pirate's Plunge pool was way cool. On Sunday mornings, the hotel hosted a Disney character breakfast that was much cheaper than you'd pay for within the park.
And the best part? We were directly across the street from Downtown Disney. After the parks closed, we'd simply walk across the street to have dinner and explore what Downtown Disney had to offer.
We did have to rent a car to get from the airport to Buena Vista but an added bonus was there was a car rental office right within the hotel.
The service at Buena Vista was top notch. I highly recommend the place.
If you're going to look for accommodations outside of the WDW parks, I recommend looking for a WDW affiliated hotel. That means that Disney representatives inspect that hotel once a year to make sure it meets Disney standards, then approve the hotel's affiliation with WDW.
Buena Vista is WDW affiliated so they have free access to the WDW shuttles to and from the parks, they can host character breakfasts using the Disney characters, they have a Disney store right within the hotel.
There are 4 parks within the WDW complex - Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios and EPCOT. Honestly, you'll need at least 2 full days in each to really see and experience everything without rushing. In addition, there are the 2 water parks - Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach.
WDW & the disabled
I'm including this section to let any disabled person planning on visiting WDW to know what I went through as a disabled person visiting WDW. Luckily, I'd had the foresight to speak with one of the high up Disney execs about the whole disability issue before I got to WDW.
Disney does have a Disability Access Pass. However, it was the best kept secret when I visited WDW, even among the park employees themselves. It wasn't even advertised to WDW disabled park visitors! I literally stumbled upon its existence while planning my trip!
So I arrive at Magic Kingdom and go to the window where one gets these disability access cards. I have the required letter from my doctor, proof of Social Security awarding me disability, bank statement showing my SSI being deposited - the whole 9 yards. I say to the Disney employee at the window "I'd like to get a disability access card" while shoving all of this paperwork proof at him that I am disabled.
He says to me "You don't need one of those. They'll see you're on a handicap scooter and know you're disabled."
Sorry, I'm not that stupid. This guy and I spend the next 10 minutes arguing about him giving me this disability pass. Finally I said to him, "Why don't you pick up that phone over there, call (I dropped the name of the bigwig exec as she'd instructed me to), tell her Pat Jackson needs to speak with her so we get this little issue settled."
He handed me my card without another word of argument. I then spent the rest of the day educating Disney employees what they were supposed to do when a disabled person handed them one of these access cards. They had not a clue and it came as a surprise to quite a few of them that these disability access cards even existed.
Handicap scooters are another problem.
Walt Disney World is a financial juggernaut, generating approximately $36 million daily. This astonishing figure translates to an annual revenue estimate of $13.1 billion, showcasing the park’s robust appeal and the strength of its brand. The impressive daily earnings come from a variety of sources. (They charge you to BREATHE at Disney)
So you would think they'd do a little PR work with the disabled to draw more disabled visitors into their parks, wouldn't you?
To rent a handicap scooter at WDW is $50 per day with a $20 to $100 refundable deposit. You may have a Hopper Pass attached to your ticket but that doesn't mean your handicap scooter is going with you. No no no. You are not allowed to take your handicap scooter between parks. You must get in line at each park and cross your fingers that by the time you reach the head of the line, they have a handicap scooter left to rent you. If not? Too bad so sad for you.
I ended up renting our scooters for 10 days from Mobility Plus for far less (under $150 total for 10 days) than Disney would've cost me and Mobility Plus was phenomenal with its service.
Not that those were the only problems we ran into.
Some of the boats at WDW can take handicap scooters and some can't. We were told we'd have over an hour wait for a scooter accessible boat to take us over to Wilderness Lodge because my sister wanted me to see it. So we asked the 2 Disney employees manning the boat station could we leave our scooters there just long enough to go see Wilderness Lodge? Sure, NO PROBLEM!
"Is there anything valuable left in them?"
No, just 2 empty insulated lunch bags, no valuables. And thinking everything is fine, we ride the boat over to Wilderness Lodge.
This is what we come back to....
Some IDIOT delusional Disney employee assumed we had a bomb in our empty insulated lunch bags so had called the Orlando cops (WDW has no police force) and Disney security was there with their bomb sniffing K9, afraid my sister and I planned to blow Mickey and Minnie to kingdom come. Let's add insult to injury!
As luck would have it, I hadn't cleaned out my wallet and showed my cop ID card to one of the Orlando cops while telling him we'd cleared everything with a Disney employee there, including telling her there was nothing in our scooter baskets but empty insulated lunch bags.
The Orlando cop turned to the paranoid Disney employee and said "You called us here because you thought a COP had a bomb in their lunch bag?!!!"
I pointed out to said paranoid Disney employee that if they were going to employ bomb sniffing dogs, they might want to station them at the park ENTRANCE where someone would be attempting to smuggle something into the park. And having no police force, what were they going to do if someone did have a bomb? Call the 3 Bandaleros?
Bottom line, if you're disabled and planning a trip to WDW? Skip Disney all together and go to Universal instead. You'll have a much better experience at Universal.
When to visit WDW
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1. Go During Off-Season
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2. Head Into the Park that Had Extra Magic Hours or a Special Ticketed Event The Previous Night ...
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3. Go During a Special Hard-Ticketed Event ...
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4. Go When the Crowd Calendars Show Low Levels ...
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5. Go When It’s Raining ...
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6. Go When the Park Opens/Closes ...
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7. Go During Extra Magic Hours ...
Magic Kingdom
I couldn't possibly list every attraction to see in this park so I'm just going to post a complete walk-through video of the park and then list the attractions you don't want to miss.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN - my #1 pick
The animatronics are fantastic. I could've easily done this swashbuckling adventure ride more than once. Step aboard a barge and get ready to journey back to a long-forgotten time when pirates ruled the high seas with this classic ride. The pirate ship ride takes you along a treacherous voyage through ransacked seaport towns, past the haunted Dead Man’s Cove, and amidst booming cannons between a Caribbean fort and a 12-gun galleon.
The only downside to Pirates was that the real live Johnny Depp wasn't there. (Although there is a figure of him that appears during the ride.)
No age or height requirements on this ride, great for kids of all ages.
IT'S A SMALL WORLD
This is a really cute ride appropriate for all ages and heights, showcasing world cultures. The only drawback to this attraction is that you will have its theme song stuck in your head, looping over and over and over again all day!
BIG THUNDER MOUNTAIN
Some call this the wildest ride at WDW but I didn't think it was wild at all. Big thunder Mountain reminds me of the old roller coasters from days of yore with a kind of mining theme to it.
The ride is set in the 1850s-era Gold Rush ghost town of Tumbleweed. You will enter the abandoned mine shaft and willingly step aboard a train that has lost its marbles.
The train speeds along rickety old tracks, catapults you through tunnels, swoops around turns, and drops into canyons. All the while, you will narrowly miss falling boulders and escape exploding dynamite.
Overall, the theming is fantastic, and this attraction really shines at night. It is a bumpy ride with some dark sections, but it’s one of those classic Disney World attractions that stands the test of time.
JUNGLE CRUISE
The Jungle Cruise is a 10-minute boat tour of scenic riverways across Africa, Asia, and South America. Guests board a canopied steamer and set sail through some of the globe’s most treacherous waterways.
Your boat cruises through South America’s lush, tropical foliage, passing by picturesque waterfalls. Then you encounter an abandoned camp along the banks of the African Congo and bathing elephants and angry hippos along the Nile. Keep alert because there’s a tribe of headhunters on the loose!
The Jungle Cruise continues through Asia and down the Mekong River, where you’ll come into close contact with cobras, baboons, and other exotic creatures.
Nice relaxing ride but beware: the boat skippers have corny senses of humor.
HAUNTED MANSION
Just what it says - a haunted mansion. Not scary at all but kind of cute and clever and suitable for little kids.
Located in Liberty Square, guests will climb aboard a Doom Buggy and embark on an eerie adventure through a maze of haunted chambers.
The Ghost Host serves as your private guide throughout the tour of this haunted estate. Here, you will encounter ghosts, ghouls, and supernatural phenomena as you skate by a conservatory of caskets, Madame Leota’s séance room of horrors, and a spooky graveyard of singing ghosts.
Tiana's Bayou Adventure
This is the ride that replaced Splash Mountain log flume ride. You do get the feeling of being in a bayou. This low-key, relaxing musical cruise concludes with an exciting surprise as you drop 5-stories down a waterfall! Be warned: riders can expect to get wet, especially those seated in the front of the ride. Lockers are available to store your personal items while you are on the ride.
SPACE MOUNTAIN
Loved this roller coaster as you were in the dark much of the time so didn't know if you were up, down, sideways or what. Apparently a lot of visitors liked this coaster too - you can see how long the waiting line was!
TRON LIGHTCYCLE RUN
The best coaster at WDW! It's the newest attraction at WDW.
Board your Lightcycle and be instantly launched into the Grid on this roller-coaster ride through the world of Disney’s TRON movies. Along the way, race a rival (digital) team to see which of you can pass through all the energy points first. Try not to get derezzed!
The ride offers much more than typical Magic Kingdom roller coasters, thanks to high-resolution animated graphics that really make you feel like you’ve jumped straight into these popular films. In addition, part of the launch sequence is outdoors under a canopy; at night, it’s bathed in vibrant animated lights. For this reason, I suggest a nighttime ride if possible.
CAROUSEL OF PROGRESS
Did this one surprise you? This exhibit was created totally by Walt himself and premiered at the 1964 World's Fair - where I saw it for the first time as a 9 year old.
I like it because it's a look back at where we've been and where we may be going. It's nostalgic and obviously it's stood the test of time as a WDW exhibit.
Magic Kingdom Dining
Liberty Tree Tavern
We celebrated my birthday with a meal at Liberty Tree Tavern. It really is a typical Thanksgiving meal and they hadn't yet done away with their ala carte menu, which was nice.
The food items were good to so-so. The service was good but the place rather noisy.
What I disliked was that one had to walk down the street from the Tavern to use a restroom.
I don't mind "authentic" within limits...but REALLY?!! A lack of restrooms in the establishment itself does not make things easy for disabled guests.
Liberty Tree Taverrn wouldn't rate a return visit in my personal opinion.
Aloha Isle
Home of the infamous Dole Pineapple Whip.
No trip to WDW is complete without having one of these treats!
Aloha Isle is a walk up snack stand.
Because dining is so expensive within the Magic Kingdom, we primarily chose out-of-park options that were far less expensive and more tasty.