Playing the Blame Game

"Your suffering is never caused by the person you're blaming." Blame and refusal to accept self responsibility is an easy escape, but it never leads to freedom and encases you in a prison of false perception. It's tempting to believe suffering is caused by someone else -- that their words, their actions, or their choices are the reason for the pain. But what if the real source of suffering isn't what they did, but the way you perceived, processed and held onto it?

The mind has a way of creating narratives. It builds stories around pain, assigning fault and attaching emotions to past wounds. But the moment blame is given away, power is given away. Blame keeps the focus outward, waiting for someone else to change, apologize or make things right. But what if peace doesn't depend on their actions? What if it has always been your own internal choice? No one can control how others act. People will make mistakes, they will be unfair, they will disappoint. But what happens next -- the response, the emotions carried forward, the way the situation is interpreted is entirely within personal control. And this is where true strength lies; in realizing that suffering isn't created by the external, but by the attachment to what cannot be changed.

Personal accountability is not about excusing others. It's about retaining power. It's the understanding that while pain is real, suffering is optional. It's the choice to see difficult situations as lessons instead of burdens, to shift perspective from victimhood to growth. The world will not always be kind, but inner peace is not determined by external forces. Letting go of blame is not about denying hurt; it's about refusing to let it define the future. When responsibility is taken for thoughts, actions, reactions, and emotions, life no longer feels like something that happens to you, but something shaped by you. Freedom begins the moment responsibility is claimed. The choice is always there: to remain bound by the blame or to step forward in strength. In the end, the only true control is over oneself, and that is where real peace is found.

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I just went through such a situation with someone I took to be a true friend. I'm an internationally certified professional psychic and natural telepath. I discovered long ago I had to learn to set boundaries or those who refused to accept self responsibility, that felt you OWED them answers to their every question and DEMANDED you drop everything to give them the answers, would suck you dry if you allowed them to.

i stuck to my boundaries with her and said I was in no shape that night (ONE night out of 2+ YEARS of her demanding answers from me) to be doing anything psychically. I was dealing with a whole lot on my own plate and my sister had just gone into emergency surgery - potentially life threatening for her due to a hemorrhaging condition she suffers from. So understandably, I was very concerned about her having this surgery.

This person grew incensed that I wouldn't tune in that night and then proceeded to accuse me of waging demonic activity against her (ABSOLUTELY LUDICROUS) because "30 pounds of snow fell off my roof and hit me on the head and I fell twice". Both of us live in the Lake Superior snow belt where winters are brutal and show falling off our roof is a common occurrence. Not to mention falling due to ice, etc. Hardly demonic activity! She then decided to go behind my back and drag my friends into her DRAMARAMA and delusions, basically accusing me of lying to her even though I'd never lied to her once during those 2+ years. Her actual post to me: "Any particular reason that you unfriended me? Why because I messaged [our friends]? What's the issue?

It was said there's no secrets so what is the issue?

If everything you have told me is true then why would you care?

Do you know what really gave me pause? The fact that you couldn't answer a simple yes or no question. That should and would be a no brainer." (If it's so simple and a no brainer, then why didn't YOU do it YOURSELF??? Why come to me at all?} I wouldn't have cared if she'd spoken to my friends because I have nothing to hide and they all know how I've treated them through the years of our friendships together. It was the deceptive, underhanded way she went about contacting my friends behind my back to attempt to confirm her own delusions and drag them into her incessant dramarama that made me say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" I wasn't going to allow her to dump the BLAME for her own delusions. mental instability, refusal to ever accept self responsibility for her own poor choices and her toxic behavior on my shoulders. As my friends pointed out to me, "You don't OWE her answers about anything!"

Exactly right. Until she shows me a certificate of OWNERSHIP of me, I'm under no obligation whatsoever to kowtow to her demands and sense of entitlement. Nor her inability to accept self responsibility for her own poor decisions and actions. As my friends so wisely advised me after speaking with her themselves, "She's obviously a user that's mentally unbalanced. You don't need that toxicity in your life." And in her playing the blame game, she ended up the loser. One never wins with playing the blame game. Only she is responsible for the condition of her life - not me. Only she can get the psychological help she needs and change her life while learning to take some self responsibility for herself. So I have left her in my rear view mirror and LIFE GOES ON! She's free to believe anything she wants about me or that her delusions dictate. Her opinions no longer matter to me. And I'm much happier for having made the decision I did and sticking to my boundaries.