The majority of people on earth today live in a state of victimhood. Professor Sam Vankin has spent his life studying victimhood....
How did we get to this point, of everyone seeing themselves as victims?
It began decades ago when the government began mind controlling the masses.
The first step in successful mind control programming is demoralization, destruction of one's self esteem. This was done by psychopaths in order to erase our identities via trauma.
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According to Smithsonian Magazine, our politicians are psychopaths. Source
At this point, it's pretty much a no brainer to see that, given what they've done to our country and planet just within the past 3 years - up to and including genociding the masses. They have actually inverted our reality and done so very successfully.
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Whether we accept them turning us into victims is, as Professor Vankin stated, entirely our decision. Victimhood is self determination. Apparently many have chosen this route because it's easy. You see these people all over social media now days - OH WOE IS ME!, constantly attacking others, declaring someone the "enemy" simply because they have a differing opinion. Professor Vankin is correct - it's become a badge of honor in our society.
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Obviously our cabal government officials are the 3rd type of victims, the Vigilante style. Self aggrandizing, they break the law thinking the law doesn't apply to them, they ignore social norms, they're narcissistic. They have instituted their own psychosis onto we the people in every way possible. They use their psychopathy to power grab and then use that power grab to sadistically penalize others.
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But does that mean we need to accept them putting their psychosis victimhood on us? NO! Again, victimhood is a CHOICE. And it's a very dangerous choice to make.
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It would be very easy for example, for a Milab to put themselves into a state of victimhood. "Look what those monsters did to us!" We could spend our lives in victimhood, hating them for drugging, physically torturing, raping, gang raping us, etc. But what does that accomplish? It's not going to affect our abductors in the least! They're going to keep on doing what they've been doing because they ARE psychopaths. As a group, early on we figured out simply sidestep everything they threw at us, "ok I learned what I was to learn from that experience", let that experience go and move on to the next hurdle they throw at us. Don't hang onto everything they tried to use to traumatize us. We simply didn't buy into their psychosis they were trying to sell to us and got on with our lives in spite of them.
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Some of us even came to see the silver lining in the cloud of what they'd done to us. "Thank you for making us so much stronger than we were before you got your claws on us! Much appreciated!"
We went on with our lives from there. Sure, we keep an eye on what they're up to...but we don't absorb it. We put ourselves in observation mode only. Nor do we preoccupy ourselves with them getting the justice they deserve. We know there's a snowball's chance in hell of that happening in our lifetimes...so we content ourselves with the fact the Divine powers-that-be will administer justice to them.
How to recognize if you have a victim mentality
It’s normal to be unsatisfied in some parts of your life. But it’s important to look at the bigger picture. If you notice similar patterns across different areas of your life, you might have a victim mentality.
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The first step to solving a problem is to identify and acknowledge it. Look for these signs in yourself to see if you might have adopted a victim mentality:
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You blame others for the way your life is
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You truly think life is against you
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You have trouble coping with problems in your life and feel powerless against them
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You feel stuck in life and approach things with a negative attitude
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You feel attacked when someone tries to offer helpful feedback
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Feeling bad for yourself gives you relief or pleasure
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You attract people who blame others and complain about their life
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It’s difficult for you to examine yourself and make changes
"It’s not my fault."
Someone who acts from a place of victimhood claims things that happen to them are the fault of someone or something other than themselves. It might be the fault of their partner, family, co-worker, friend, or "the way the world is." They frequently complain about the bad things that happen in their lives. They are reluctant to take personal responsibility, asserting that the circumstances aren’t in their control.
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It’s not a martyr complex.
Victim mentality can sometimes be confused with a martyr complex. They are two similar behaviors, but there are some differences. Victims take things personally. Even if a comment or statement wasn’t directed at them, they will still absorb it as if it was. "What did I do to deserve this?" is a common question for them.
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On the other hand, a person with a martyr complex will often go out of their way to take on extra tasks for other people, even if they don’t want to. They sacrifice themselves for others yet often feel resentful after the fact.
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Unhealthy coping mechanisms.
People who have a victim mentality have often suffered through trauma or hard times, but haven’t developed a healthier way to cope. As a result, they develop a negative view of life, where they feel that they don't have any control over what happens to them. Because they don’t think anything is their fault, they have little or no sense of responsibility for their lives. It just happens to them.
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If someone tries to help or offer solutions, they’re often prepared with a list of reasons why that will not work. People who try to help are often left frustrated and confused.
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No accountability.
Being accountable for your life means you’re in the driver’s seat. You take responsibility. That can be scary to someone who has a victim mentality. You would have to admit life isn’t just the result of the actions of others. Taking responsibility bursts the protective bubble of victimhood.
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Secondary gain.
Some people’s problems continue because of the secondary benefits. Sympathy, attention, and access to medication or funds are common examples of secondary gain. Someone with a victim mentality might not even realize they are getting these benefits, and often feel truly distressed.
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Satisfies unconscious needs.
People with a victim mentality, especially when it comes from past trauma, unconsciously seek validation and help from others. They play the “poor me” card consistently. This can generate sympathy and help from others.
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Avoid taking risks.
Projecting blame on others is a key part of the victim mentality. It’s a way to avoid being truly vulnerable and taking risks.
How to stop being the victim
Victim mentality is learned behavior.
In other words, it’s not something you’re born with. It's something you learn in a social environment. It could be learned from family members or the result of trauma.
However, you have the power to overcome it. Take the first steps in the following ways.
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Take responsibility.
You are the only one who controls your actions. You might not be able to control others, but you control how you react to them. You control who you spend your time with, and where. Realize your potential and get in the driver’s seat of your life.
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Self-care and compassion.
Victim mentalities are subconsciously adopted as a way to cope, often from past trauma. Be compassionate to yourself in your recovery. Practice self-care and self-love. Journaling can be a helpful tool to work through your feelings.
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Start saying no.
You can say no to something you don’t want to do. It’s okay. Even if other people feel you are letting them down, take care of your energy and prioritize yourself.
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Educate yourself.
Read books about the victim mentality and how it affects your life. Consider seeking therapy. The more you educate yourself on the topic, the more likely you are to stay on track with your recovery and avoid going back to your old way of thinking.
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Practice gratitude.
It's very easy for us to look at what we don't have rather than what we do have. But constantly looking at what we don't have very quickly shifts us into a state of victimhood.
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Perform acts of kindness to others.
I make it a point to do this every time I'm in public - do one act of kindness for someone...even if it's merely smiling, saying hello and holding a door open for that person. It's a win-win situation because you feel better about yourself and the person on the receiving end of your act of kindness feels better too.
Forgive and let go.
Victims often hold on to feelings of bitterness and anger from past hurts. It colors their experiences in everyday life and cause them to negatively misinterpret even well-meaning gestures from others.
One doesn't practice forgiveness for the sake of their enemies. They practice it for their own well being. Holding onto anger, grudges, etc. only serves to hurt you - even to the point of physically. It's a form of self sabotage.
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Stop sabotaging yourself.
What is at the root of our self-sabotaging behavior?
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Control.
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When we're trapped in the world of victimhood, we tend to be more aware of how vulnerable we truly are. We experience a sense of what Brené Brown calls "deep foreboding." It's the sense that disaster is always lurking around the corner. And the sensation is most intense when things are going well.
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If disaster is going to come, the victim wants to control when that disaster will strike so he will not be disappointed. Therefore, he undermines his own joy and success with self-destructive behavior.
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The inner saboteur is a powerful enemy, but you have the power to resist its seductive and ultimately faulty reasoning. Panache Desai in his book Discovering Your Soul Signature says:
in order for the inner saboteur to bring you down, it requires your participation.
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Don't participate. Resist the feeling that you don't deserve joy and success. Give up the need for control and enjoy all the blessings that are before you. Accept them fully and graciously.
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Build self-confidence
If you're feeling like a victim, you may struggle with low self-confidence.
You may think that self-confident people are born, not made. Yes, some people are naturally more self-confident than others, but self-confidence can be taught and improved upon in any person.
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The best way to do it is to emulate confident people. Dress well, hold an upright posture, speak clearly, make eye contact, and exercise.
Act confident. Your internal state will begin to match your external actions.
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Find the source of your learned helplessness
Chronic long-term victim mentality often finds it's source in learned helplessness that was likely experienced in childhood or early adulthood.
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Perhaps you were raised in an environment that fostered dependence, rather than giving you the confidence to fend for yourself. Perhaps an older sibling or spouse consistently discounted your opinions and feelings. Or perhaps you were bullied in school.
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The process is painful, but taking the time to find the underlying source of your negativity will empower you with knowledge. This knowledge in turn will give you an opportunity to address the source of the pain.
If you're struggling to get through this step, a good therapist can help.
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Shift your mentality from that of victim to survivor
There's no doubt that bad things happen to good people. But the key to not succumbing to victim mentality is to adopt the mentality of a survivor. In her book What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger, Maxine Schnall compares the two mentalities this way:
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A victim asks how long it will take to feel good -- a survivor decides to feel good even if things are not so great.
A victim grinds to a halt -- a survivor keeps putting one foot in front of the other.
A victim wallows in self-pity -- a survivor comforts others.
A victim is jealous of someone else's success -- a survivor is inspired by it.
A victim focuses on the pain of loss -- a survivor cherishes remembered joy.
A victim seeks retribution -- a survivor seeks redemption.
And most of all, a victim argues with life -- a survivor embraces it.
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Challenge your perceptions of reality.
You get up in the morning to find your car doesn't start. How many of you think the following?
I must have done something to deserve this.
I'll be late for work, lose my job and not be able to pay the bills.
I'll bet that neighborhood kid messed with my car overnight!
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What's the actual reality of the situation? Your car suffered a mechanical failure - as they're prone to doing.
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It sounds crazy, but we get caught up in these thought patterns more often than we care to admit. We frequently engage in worst-case scenario thinking that distorts our perception of reality.